Internal Communication with Autism and DID

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Richard Schwartz and Janina Fisher offer practical communication techniques with all these parts. The website layls

Learning to communicate with your alters and parts is a huge step forward towards creating stability when you have dissociative identity disorder. Early on in recovery from DID with autism, most of us aren't able to connect with the other parts of our system. However, to function well in the world, we need to connect, communicate, collaborate, and participate with our parts in a coordinated manner. 

A First Step Towards Internal Communication

A good first step toward internal communication is learning about the types of parts that typically exist within a dissociative system. Several models explain the various roles within a system. Richard Schwartz developed the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, which you can read in his book, No Bad Parts. Additionally, the YouTube video "Internal Family Systems Introduction" offers helpful insights if you're new to concepts about systems and parts. Other models include Ruth Culver's Survive-Thrive Spiral, Janina Fisher's trauma-based model, and structural dissociation.

Protectors

Both Schwartz and Culver describe parts that function as Protectors. Protectors who help manage daily life are called Managers, while other Protectors intervene when Managers can no longer handle life's stressors. IFS refers to these parts as Firefighters because they essentially "extinguish" uncontrollable crises in our lives.

Culver categorizes Protectors differently. She divides them into two groups: Fix Protectors and Flop Protectors. Fix Protectors help safeguard the system through actions such as controlling anxiety, obsessive-compulsive behaviors (OCD), and activity addictions. In contrast, Flop Protectors may engage in behaviors like submitting to depression, withdrawing, or turning to numbing addictions. Collapse Protectors exhibit behaviors that include chronic fatigue, migraines, or even suicidal thoughts. Culver's diagram relates these parts to Polyvagal Theory for further clarification.

Exiles

IFS and Culver define another type of part within the system: Exiles. Exiles carry the memories of trauma, and to cope, they have often been "exiled" from conscious memory. Many DID systems refer to these Exiles as "littles" or "middles," as they typically represent younger parts. The term "bigs" refers to older, more mature parts. While "Exile" describes their position in the system, it doesn't capture their positive qualities, such as child-like playfulness and passion. For this reason, we prefer the terms littles or middles, depending on whether they are children or teenagers.

Self & Normal Life Self

In both the IFS model and Culver's descriptions, there is also a part referred to as the Self. This part is accessible to all other parts and is often recognized as a person's core Self or essence. The Self embodies attributes known as the "8 C's," which include compassion, courage, and clarity. We discuss the role of the 8 C's in recovery on our homepage. Fisher's trauma-based model emphasizes a "Normal Life Self" instead of just a Self. She advocates for survivors to strengthen this part to function better in the world, which is essential for living a fulfilling life.

Techniques For Internal Communication

Richard Schwartz and Janina Fisher offer practical communication techniques with all these parts. The website laylstsTtherapy with Alessio" features a comprehensive diagram that guides you through a Manager Interview to connect with Protector parts—don't forget to check their IFS Digital Downloads page for the PDF. Fisher's book Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors includes an appendix with instructions for conducting an Internal Dialogue. She also recommends holding daily Meditation Circles, inviting all parts of the system to meet. Additionally, IFS meditations available on YouTube can be beneficial for connecting with your various alters and parts. We've compiled some of the most valuable IFS meditations on our YouTube channel Playlists. The book got Parts? provides excellent guidance on communicating with alters and parts.

Other methods to enhance communication within your DID system include:

• Leaving notes for each other around your home or in your journal
• Trying non-dominant hand journaling
• Using apps like Simply Plural, Mindly, Antar, and TwiNote

Building An Internal World

One invaluable tool for internal communication is creating an internal world where alters can spend time in a shared headspace. The books got Parts? and Coping With Trauma-Related Dissociation provide instructions for building an internal world. Establishing a safe internal world for all parts to rest, interact, and escape from stressors can be very beneficial. For those of us with autism and dissociative identity disorder, having a sensory-friendly internal world is healing and calming.

Complications With Internal Communication Due To Autism

Aphantasia is a condition characterized by difficulty or inability to visualize images in one's mind. If you experience aphantasia due to autism, some methods for internal communication with your dissociative parts may not be effective. If visualization is challenging or impossible for you or other parts of your system, consider using techniques not relying on guided imagery or building an internal world.

Alexithymia is a common trait in autism that makes it challenging to understand or describe your own emotions and internal experiences. If you or parts of your system struggle with this, interpreting nonverbal communication from these parts can be difficult. We found that using emotions wheels helps articulate complex emotions. You can check out our Pinterest page for our favorite emotions wheels. The better you understand and describe your feelings, the more you'll be able to comprehend the communication between your parts.

Summary

Ultimately, the most critical key to internal communication is compassion. The various parts of your system enable you to survive. Without them, you would not have been able to endure - each part contributed something essential. Please treat them compassionately and understand that they are crucial to your well-being. If you have trouble feeling compassion, start with curiosity. Open your heart and mind and be curious about each part's role. 

We hope you can use these ideas to improve your internal communication. This process will take time but no matter how dissociated you feel, you and your parts form your internal family. Embrace, or at least explore with curiosity, the unique parts of your system!