Building Trust When You Have Autism with DID

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Introduction

Building trust is a cornerstone of recovery for anyone navigating autism and dissociative identity disorder, especially when past trauma has taught us to expect disappointment or harm. "When we feel consistently loved our emotions show it through our stability,” because reliable affection creates a safe internal environment where nervous systems can settle (The Anger Workbook). Yet trust can feel especially fragile: the social nuances that many autistic people find challenging—reading subtle cues, managing sensory overload, or interpreting intentions—can make forming connections seem daunting. Similarly, the deep‑seated mistrust that stems from trauma often fuels suspicion toward therapists, friends, even our own bodies, making each step toward openness feel risky. Nevertheless, cultivating trust across several domains—whether with a compassionate therapist who respects boundaries, friends who honor neurodivergent needs, the body that signals its limits, a loyal animal companion, or a spiritual relationship with God—provides multiple anchors of safety. Start wherever you feel most secure, whether that’s a gentle interaction with a pet or a brief moment of self‑care, and let those small victories gradually expand into broader, more resilient bonds.

Building Trust With A Therapist

Why Build Trust With a Therapist?

Trust-based Relational Intervention training emphasizes that "healing comes through loving connections." For autistic individuals, forming relationships can be challenging due to miscommunication. People with dissociative identity disorder often face difficulties in relationships due to a history of trauma. As Bessel van der Kolk states in The Body Keeps the Score, "You have to find someone you can trust enough to accompany you, someone who can safely hold your feelings and help you listen to the painful messages from your emotional brain."

Therapy Providers

We have compiled a list of several websites that offer directories of therapists skilled in treating dissociative disorders:

• The directory of the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (ISST-D)
• Providers trained in Janina Fisher's Trauma-Informed Stabilization Technique (TIST)
• Therapists and coaches vetted by MultipliedByOne.org
• IFS-trained practitioners
• Psychology Today has a more general directory of providers where you can search by gender, type of therapy, insurance, and other criteria

If you have health insurance, check your insurance company's website or contact them for a list of in-network therapists.

Key Ideas About Therapy

If you find it challenging to open up in therapy, consider reading the article How to Open Up in Therapy" by PsychCentral for helpful tips and an explanation of why it is essential. Watch the following YouTube videos for more insights about therapy. 

Continue reading about Building Trust below the Videos.

Therapy Support Plushies

Sometimes, we need extra support to attend therapy sessions, and our younger alters often seek comfort. On those days, a Therapy Support Plushie can be helpful. We highly recommend choosing a Warmies plushie, which provides excellent sensory input to help calm autistic anxieties. These plushies are scented and weighted with lavender, offering olfactory and proprioceptive stimulation. However, any plushie that makes you feel secure can be beneficial during challenging sessions.

If You Are in Crisis

If you find yourself in a crisis or feel physically unsafe, please seek support immediately. DID-research.org has a list of hotlines and chat services to provide the urgent help you need. Don't hesitate—reach out right away.

Building Trust With Friends

Why Build Trust With a Friend?

While friendships can be complicated for autistic individuals due to social interaction challenges, fostering friendships can create stability and connection. When we found our tribe, we experienced greater happiness.

Finding Your Community

You can find community online through platforms such as Facebook Groups and The Mighty Communities. In person, we have connected with kind, supportive individuals in local churches, Community Bible Studies (CBS), and Celebrate Recovery (CR). Twelve-step groups are also a great way to build connections, especially if you face co-occurring issues like alcohol use disorder (Alcoholics Anonymous), substance use disorder (Narcotics Anonymous), eating disorders (Overeaters Anonymous), and more. Use a search engine to locate a local or online 12-step group. Additionally, consider attending classes or events related to your interests, such as local art classes, community college courses, or joining local sports teams. Your local newspaper may also list in-person activities and support groups; check the classifieds for opportunities to connect with others who share your interests or experiences. However you choose to find community, Building Trust will lead to more stability.

Building Trust With Your Body 

Building trust between yourself and your body is a crucial aspect of holistic wellness, especially when navigating the complexities of autism and dissociative identity disorder. Start by prioritizing self-care routines that honor your body's unique needs, whether through gentle exercise, nourishing meals, or adequate rest. Pay close attention to your sensory sensitivities, creating environments and activities that feel safe and comforting. Being proactive about medical care—such as regular check-ups, addressing pain promptly, and communicating openly with healthcare providers—can reinforce a sense of partnership with your physical self. Additionally, practice mindfulness techniques to help you sit with uncomfortable feelings and bodily sensations without judgment, gradually fostering a deeper connection and mutual respect. By consistently listening to and caring for your body, you can cultivate a foundation of trust that supports overall well-being.

Building Trust With An Animal 

Building trust with an animal or pet can be a profoundly healing experience, particularly for individuals with autism and dissociative identity disorder. Many find that animals are easier to relate to than humans, as they communicate through clear, non-verbal cues and offer unconditional love and acceptance without judgment. Equestrian therapy, for example, has shown remarkable benefits, as interacting with horses can improve emotional regulation, self-awareness, and social skills while fostering a deep sense of connection. The joy of caring for a pet—whether it's a dog, cat, or even a smaller animal—lies in the reciprocal bond formed through mutual dependence. For those who struggle with human relationships, the simplicity and sincerity of an animal's affection can provide comfort and a safe space to practice trust. By offering love and care to a creature that relies on you, you not only strengthen your own capacity for empathy and responsibility but also experience the profound fulfillment of being truly seen and valued.

Building Trust With God 

Building trust with God can be a transformative journey, especially for those with a history of trauma. Recognizing that God's love is eternal and infinite provides a stable foundation in a world that may have felt unpredictable or unsafe. His intimate knowledge of you—far surpassing even your own self-awareness—offers reassurance that you are truly seen and understood, even in your deepest wounds. God's reliability and trustworthiness contrast sharply with the broken relationships or betrayals that may have marked your past, offering a consistent source of security. Knowing that His intentions for your life are wholly good can counteract feelings of shame, guilt, or unworthiness that often follow trauma. The promise that He will never abandon or betray you provides a safe haven, especially for those who have experienced abandonment or abuse. 

At the heart of this trust is the gospel: Jesus Christ, fully God and fully human, entered human suffering personally. As "God with skin on," He empathizes with your weaknesses because He endured temptation, pain, and even death. His perfect life, offered on your behalf, and His sacrificial death and resurrection make it possible to approach God freely, despite past mistakes or trauma. Through Jesus, you are forgiven, loved, and held securely in God's unshakable promises, allowing healing and hope to take root where brokenness once reigned.

Books To Help Build Trust With God

• Try Softer: Sometimes patterns of anxiety cannot be overcome by simply "trying harder." If you struggle to find stability because you live in survival mode, this book offers ways to find a life of connection and joy.
• One Thousand Gifts: Living a life of gratitude is a wonderful recovery technique. Ann Voskamp takes you along with her on her journey to living life fully and greater trust in God. 
• A Shepherd Looks At Psalm 23: If its triggering for you to think of God as your Father, thinking of him as your Shepherd might be the spiritual help you need for stabilization. This book speaks about the rich, sweet ways that God acts as our Shepherd. 
• Anchored: This Bible study will reveal lies you believe about yourself and then guide you to build a new sense of self-worth based on truth. 
• Depression - Looking Up From The Stubborn Darkness: If the darkness of depression has you feeling distant from God, this book offers spiritual help and a way to look upwards. 
• When God Weeps: God cares deeply about your suffering, autism, and dissociation. This is an intense read, but if you've already experienced intense suffering, you might find new reasons to trust in God's love for you. 

Conclusion

Building trust, whether with a therapist, friends, your body, an animal, or God, is a deeply personal and transformative process. For autistic individuals with dissociative identity disorder, this journey requires patience, understanding, and the courage to embrace vulnerability. By seeking out supportive communities, engaging in therapeutic practices that honor your unique needs, and fostering connections with both humans and animals, you can cultivate a sense of safety and belonging. Remember, healing is not linear, and every small step forward is a victory. Trust in yourself, in others, and in the possibility of a brighter future, knowing that you are never alone in this journey.